02.10.2008
You must have me confused with the TV
I was mad at Tim Conway.
It started with a letter to the editor I received.
“... CBS is planning to bring the Showtime series ‘Dexter’ to broadcast television starting on Feb.17. I am urging you, as a responsible member of this community, to pre-empt ‘Dexter.’ This community does not need a series that glorifies a sadistic serial killer coming into our homes. Along with your broadcast license comes a responsibility to use the publicly owned broadcast airwaves to serve the public interest.”
Either this person couldn’t tell the difference between a newspaper and a TV station or she stumbled upon our secret plan to construct a television studio, obtain an FCC license and ink an affiliate deal before Feb. 17.
In reality, she had gone to a Web site, clicked a button and sent a letter to the editor that, while it may reflect her views, was written by some operative within an organization with an agenda. It’s a common practice, and I despise it because it cheapens the efforts of people who actually sit down, put their opinions in their own words and send them to newspapers.
It took no time to track the “letter” to the Parents Television Council, a group that wants to parent all of us by pressuring TV stations to remove programs it doesn’t like (most of which I do), since the public is, in its view, too ignorant to turn the channel.
Poking around on the Web site, I found on the PTC’s advisory board, among knuckleheads like Billy Ray Cyrus and Michael Medved was Tim Conway, a man my family watched religiously on “The Carol Burnette Show” in the ‘70s, a man who made us spew off-brand cola onto a Naughahyde couch each time boss Tudball called Mrs. Wiggins into his office.
How could Tim, a man who brought us such joy, belong to an organization now encouraging people to send me fake letters?
In anger (and disappointment), I fired off this e-mail: “Hi Tim—As the editor of a small-town newspaper, I sometimes get letters to the editor that read as if they are coming not from an actual person, but an organization with some kind of agenda. One such letter arrived about the TV show ‘Dexter’ airing on CBS and how awful that would be for our great nation… As a fan of “The Apple Dumpling Gang” and your many TV appearances (let’s agree not to talk about “Dorf”), I was wondering if you truly agree with this organization’s tactic of sending out what we in the newspaper business call ‘AstroTurf’ in the guise of a grass-roots letter-writing campaign? That’s my question. Now, here’s a little editorial comment for you. I’m a parent. If CBS airs ‘Dexter,’ I’ll turn the channel, turn off the TV or maybe slip that well-worn copy of ‘The Billion Dollar Hobo’ into the VCR (haven’t got the DVD yet) so my kid can’t see the pretend carnage. Seems pretty simple to me.”
In return, to my amazement and gratitude, I received this: “Scott—Yes, I am on the board. I do not have a soapbox and actually I do the same thing you do when these shows come on that are kind of an insult to the viewer. Steve Allen asked me to be a member when the PTC first started…we are not out to burn scripts or DVDs, just move them to a place where kids can’t get to them so easy. I have turned away a lot of things in the business because I wouldn’t want to insult my audience with dumb material that has language to shock, not to make people laugh. Sounds like you may be on our side…Tim Conway.”
Though I detest the PTC, I’m hoping the very gracious Tim Conway and I can perhaps star in a buddy vehicle. Be on the lookout for “The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again, Part 2: No Serial Killers Allowed.”
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