02.07.2008
P.S. The Super Bowl ended days ago
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Professional sports is a trillion-dollar industry, and it’s more than just tickets to a game and buying a team jersey — it’s corporate sponsorships and multimillion dollar contracts in a media-infused environment.
Sure, everyone loves to watch grown men pummel each other over pigskin and the debate surrounding the juice (steroids, not O.J., though the O.J. stuff has been and continues to be a circus).
But after the last fan leaves the stands and the TV turns to news, sports are still in overdrive. There’s the talk shows and behind-the-scene trades and the push to sell, sell, sell.
It’s a shame my idea for a professional league of Monopoly players never came to fruition, because then I’d know what it would be like to get paid just to play a game that really doesn’t mean much.
Yes, the Super Bowl this year meant one quarterback would go down in history as leading possibly the best football team ever to a perfect record or the other quarterback would redeem himself for being a colossal waste for years, but really, do those games save lives? Do they teach our kids anything other than elaborate touchdown dances and to wear gold teeth?
Do football players — and most other pro athletes — give much more to society than fleeting entertainment? Eh, some charity work here and there, but it’s all well and good because we need that fleeting entertainment.
In ancient times, men were slaughtered to appease the diversion-starved masses, so at least we’ve evolved since then.
Every society needs respite from day-to-day chaos, and the U.S. turns to the NFL, NBA, MLB and — eek — the NHL.
Note: Extensive research has shown that hockey has spread to the U.S., though its fans are notably misunderstood have hints of Canadian accents.
However, the one thing ancient Greeks and Romans didn’t do for hours, days and weeks after a good romp in the dust was dissect it until no fragment of the event was untouched — I’m talking about you, ESPN.
The Entertainment and Sports Programming Network (had to Google that one) is still picking apart Super Bowl XLII, and every time “SportsCenter,” “Around the Horn” or “Pardon the Interruption” is on, I want to pancake tackle my TV.
(“Pancake” is an actual football term. Google didn’t teach me that — having a boyfriend addicted to playing video games did.)
“Around the Horn” is a good show to pick on. Think “Crossfire” minus the stuck-up political types and plus the stuck-up jock types.
It’s five guys, four of whom are competing for points that seem meaningless, arguing about Bobby Knight’s temper and whether or not Bonds was on the juice (again, steroids, not O.J., though the latter would make for a more interesting debate).
And of course, they talk about Super Bowl XLII. The Roman numerals seem appropriate, what with the whole ancient entertainment analogy thing we’ve got going on.
Anyway, they made an entire show discussing what place the Patriots have in history now and was Bill Belichick out of line for walking off the field with one second left on the clock, etc.
The point of all this rambling is this: Professional sports are supposed to be entertainment, not an argument and certainly not worth pulling apart for days on end.
Play it, report it and let it go. Don’t muck it up with the he-said she-saids and the he-did-its and the he-juiced-up-to-do-its.
(Note: What’s with this “juice” obsession? I think I just like the way it sounds.)
What started as elite performers doing what they loved for people who loved watching has been politicized into a money-making, smack-talking institution from the players to the suits.
If you’re going to have in-depth reporting and debate, touch on the real subjects: pro sports cutting loose players without the health care for their sustaining injuries; the way pro sports players have become tools of the agents and media who use them; and, of course, the juice (that time it could go either way — both steroids and O.J. are pretty controversial).
So shut up already about the insignificant stuff, like how in the world Eli Manning was able to lead a Super Bowl-winning drive in the game’s waning moments.
In the grand scheme of things, no one really cares about that. They just care that we are no longer picking gladiators at random to cut off each other’s appendages in a coliseum for our entertainment.