‘I can’t believe I’ve put up with 20 years of this’
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On our 20th anniversary, my lovely, red-headed wife and I sat down and took an honest assessment of our relationship, how far we had come in our two decades together and what the future holds for a couple of crazy kids that everyone said would never make it.
It was the kind of deep, heartfelt dialogue that only two soul mates can share.
smack
I want my news back
The seemingly endless Democratic presidential nomination drags on and on, grinding its way from one state to the next with countless annoying robocalls and bucket-loads of empty speechifying, even though experts tell us the only way Hillary Clinton can win is to clone her own superduper delegates in a secret lab or produce incriminating photos of Barack Obama kissing the Rev. Jeremiah Wright full on the mouth while simultaneously setting fire to an American flag.
Fatback is key to long, happy life
The key to a long life? Eat plenty of fatback.
That’s what Josie Myers Flowers - or Granny Jo - told me. I was fortunate to receive that life-altering bit of advice at her 100th birthday party at the Friedberg Moravian Church in Winston-Salem, or as my daughter referred to it before we arrived, the Free Bird Moravian Church, a possible indication that we need to spend more time in a house of worship and less listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Gold and Platinum.”
Gorak, meet Steven - he’s smart
Stephen Hawking has always been among my favorite astrophysicists. I’ve got his rookie card and planned to paint a large “K” on my bare chest so the gang and I could spell out HAWKING on the front row at his next lecture. But a recent comment that only “cranks” and “weirdoes” claim to have been abducted by aliens strikes me as extremely insensitive to those who have been whisked away and oftentimes probed by beings from another galaxy.
• The tale of my liberal skivvies
• It’s official: no state-sponsored cocktail
• Stick that rebate in your pie hole
• Who knew grandma could run?
• Don’t hate me because my handwriting’s beautiful
• ‘Leatherheads’ stars swing by Salisbury
• Terror strikes Tweetsie
• When nature called, old-timers answered
• Pens are no match for rocket launchers
• Mr. No-No’s guide to Easter safety
• It’s your fault if you get eaten
• Flush with excitement over best restroom awards
• Musings and preoccupations
• Upper Room celebrates 10 years
• Give generously and we can lick the devil toad
• I can’t hear - your bumper sticker’s too loud
• Hey candidates, court this
• WInners and losers of the 100-day war
• You must have me confused with the TV
• P.S. The Super Bowl ended days ago
• C’mon ma, you don’t have to go Britney
• Somebody hit snooze on my clock
• Oh no mom, please say you didn’t
• More like ‘Moment of Disaster’
• Not clowing around - kids hate ‘em
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